amok amok amok

ahhhhh

runs in circles and flails

thank god there's bullriding friday

a little food rhapsody

I had a cheap roast I needed to use up. So I cooked it until it fell apart, added some green chiles, some salsa, a little onion and cumin and a beer. Instant picadillo. Uhn. I'm putting it over cornbread and a side of ranch style beans.

Uhn

comfort food, New Mexico and Texas style

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I should be pleased. I wrote. I have an alligator cd holder. (No, not skin. A stuffed alligator whose mouth opens and has cd sleeves in it.) I made supper instead of going out, go me. I started a new recipe book.

I just need to get past the negative shit.

I do

see me

swimming

hormones

as I get older, they get worse. I get very sensitive to insult.

The worst thing you can do? Condescend to me. Especially in that supposedly cutesy and joking tone, mmm'kay? Winking and wiggling while telling me you don't think I know what I'm doing makes me blind with rage. I hate to be wrong, but I will admit when I am. When I am not and you try to make me feel like a fool? I will rip you a new asshole. Or just never work with you again, if I have nothing invested in you. Luckily for me, I can choose the latter here.

My dad is off to MN again today. He woke me up at 6:30 to say goodbye, which I told him to, but man it made me wonky. I went to bed about 2:30, and even I need more sleep than that. Okay, some folks would say a lot more ;)

Hrm. What's my good thing for today? We had Greek night over the weekend. Made tzatziki and baklava and figured out how to make the tomato spread from Angeli on Decatur in NOLA. We made hummus and dolmas and spanakopita and meatballs. The best part was how we all worked together to get it done, even when Mr L wasn't feeling fab.

Next week? Brazilian night. I need to find a dessert...

now that I have snarled

I need to remember the good that it is to be me

I have my own company. This allows people to bitch at me, yes, but it allows me to go see bullriding at will and to do what I love and to see tim and and and

I am a bullrider fangirl. There. I said it. But when faced with this http://www.csarodeo.com/scott/index.cfm

how could I not be?

I mean. Look at Guilherme's arms. Jesus. And he's not even the prettiest of my obsessions. Don't tell me he's too hairy. Don't harsh my mellow. I *like* the fuzz

then there's the writing

Yes, I am having a slump. Yes, people have been more critical than happy of late. But I get to make a living making fantasy. Creating worlds. It doesn't get any better than that.

And hey, it lets me go to the zoo and see humping rhinos

And a certain rodeo clown in his boxer briefs

a certain bullrider coming down an escalator with his leg propped on the rail, making his jeans strrreeeeetch

I have a house, a car of cuteness, an old car that needs some love, the best friends on earth, books aplenty and lots of rodeo and fair food

life is good

I need reminding sometimes, is all

and chocolate

having one of those days

where nothing I do or say is right.

I know that I am culpable, mainly for letting people get to me

but what offends me is someone who takes their psychosis out on me. I don't have the same issues you do. Is that my fault? Is it reason to try to make me feel like I don't know what I'm talking about? Especially when it's clear that I have no ulterior motives. I mean, really, why do people think they need to impose their guilt on other folks?

Guilt is overrated, y'all.

So is pressing your agenda when there's no need to

I'm going away for the weekend

thank god

the internet is too damned much like high school. and I gave that up 20 years ago

am I a weenie?

sure I am. I hate calling people. I hate asking to do things for me, even if they're getting paid to do it.

I hate HVAC units. I want my swamp cooler back. Sadly it won't work here, but I could do maintenance on that myself, lalala

how can my printer be out of ink already? I need to get the laser printer hooked up. But there's this whole fax machine thing and where do I put that thing...

yeah

Anyway, my wrist is killing me and I want chocolate

send help

a little panic a little tingle

my feet are really numb and gross

I can't seem to get past the work panic... just paddling to stay afloat

got to see tim. Jesus that man is beautimous

have muses going O.O hi, me, hey, how you doing?

not the muses I need to be writing

ack