Wednesday, September 17, 2008

okay, I quit

I've had it. I can't hack it anymore.

Any of it.

I mean, logically I know that nicotine withdrawal makes me a little crazed; as the neural stimulator/pleasure center effects of nicotine are withdrawn, the body feels depressed and deprived, kind of like the crash from a really good chocolate endorphin rush, only multiplied by eight or nine or five million zillion...

Logic doesn't enter into it when you've just given up the last thing that gave you any illicit pleasure. I've given up Diet Coke, sugar, fast food, pizza, big restaurant meals, and Snickers bars. I've discovered that I'm allergic to cashews and peanuts, and that my sugars stubbornly resist coming down past 300 unless I give up even more, like, oh, bread.

I'm so tired, I just want to crawl off somewhere and die. I'm completely overwhelmed, and I can't even blame that on someone else.

And today, thanks to the nicotine withdrawal, I can't stop crying hysterically, which means people in the house are avoiding me like the plague

I've had it.

I'm just going to run away to some cave and become a hermit